My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Thursday, 3 May 2012

I'm not waving, I'm drowning

I know it's been just too long since the last blog. There are no excuses other than it's just been a week of overwhelming ennui coupled with Ma being a bit of a handful. Not the best really.

On Monday morning I went in to find Ma on the floor. Thankfully she wasn't injured at all and from the way she was lying it looked as though she'd got out of bed and then fallen, rather than having fallen out of bed. She wasn't cold, clammy or in any pain so once she was up and wrapped in a blanket with a hot water bottle in place she was fine, she ate some breakfast and then dozed. The fall clearly had an effect which made her quiet and sleepy all day.

Tuesday was day centre day no 1. She was quite grumpy when she came home and didn't like me at all. I gave her a cup of tea to go with her sandwiches but unfortunately most of it went over me and the chair and she wiped off the few drops on her face with an egg sandwich. Makes a change from a slipper.

Wednesday was day centre day no 2. When she came home she was so pleased to see me she was practically in tears. She refused to stand up for the carers when they came to do the night time stuff, lots of swearing, shouting and cursing from her so perhaps there was some physical trauma from her fall the day before.

.... 20 minutes later:

Bedroom door opens:

Hello?? Are you there??

She'd walked from the bed to the door... (about 10/12 steps)

Today. Foolishly I stated somewhere that Ma appeared to be ok, quiet, but ok. Oh how God laughs when you say these things. From about middy Ma has been on a mission to 'go somewhere'. This involves getting out of the chair (without any trouble) and striding off in a pushing sort of way with the nattily faux leather-topped nest of tables. Clearly using the walking frame would be just too sensible. I have been swapping out the said tables with her walking frame at every opportunity which really really annoyed the pants off her. Apparently I am 'nasty nasty nasty' for doing this. Eh well.

Just before Peter arrived we had a moment where she did some of the old stuff (spitting etc.) but once he was here it was fluffiness all round. We had a few hours together which was nice - he is a big twitcher and encourages me to enjoy birds too, particularly with my camera. So I bored him rigid with just the first thousand or so of my photos.

Unfortunately she doesn't seem to want to go to bed tonight, she's been up seven times already. There's no reason that I can see, Pete and I did wonder if she could hear us talking but he left two hours ago but she's been up more times since he left than she has in the last couple of weeks.

I know this reads slightly flat. It is really hard to post when you are in a bit of a slump. Apologies.


  1. Hang in there, Bee x

  2. Your Mum is so lucky to have you to care for her. Never lose sight of what an amazing thing you are doing for her. x

  3. Bee, I've been following your blog for a long time, we are both going through similar stages....

    My mom fell a month ago in the same way, she had a bit of phneumonia at the time, after a wek in the hospital she stopped walking...She is just afraid of falling.

    Hang in there dear!! Seeing them unlearn is the hardest thing!
    Big hug.