My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Friday, 25 November 2011

The weekend blog 25/11

Ma started calling from 04:30 this morning, I called back regularly but clung to my mattress until 06:30. When I did eventually go downstairs she was fully dressed and extremely annoyed that she'd been on her own all night. I gave her the Friday tablet and took a cuppa upstairs to watch the news. The day started properly just after seven and she was soon washed, dressed and eating a poached egg on toast.

Her mood began to slide again at around 10:00 so I whisked her into the car and we went to the garden centre for bird food and other birdie treats for the winter. When she got out of the car she was very unsteady on her feet so I calmly suggested a wheelchair and she agreed. Much to my astonishment. This made for a very pleasant tootle around looking at Christmas decorations and bird seed, listening to some really heavy hail showers on the roof.

Back home for lunch then we had several hours of:

So are we going?

Not going anywhere Mum, we went out this morning

Oh so when is Peter getting here? (or 'is Peter upstairs?')

Peter isn't here until next Friday

[repeat every five minutes or so]

Every day at 16:00 we have been watching Ade in Britain, I thoroughly enjoy it, Ma gets very confused between the tv and reality. At the ad break I went to make a cup of tea. A few moments later Ma appeared in the kitchen in a dither with her coat on.

Hurry up!

What's the matter??

He's getting in the car! He'll go without us...

Waiting for Ade

A bit of housework this morning. I mopped the parquet and the kitchen then hoovered. Ma dusted. Mostly the carpets it has to be said and it wasn't done particularly graciously as I kept finding the duster abandoned in odd places and returning it to her, but it filled an hour.

More tears again today. I'm at a loss really but the GP is coming on Tuesday, so maybe he can suggest something.

My ex-SIL Jane came this afternoon. Ma adores her so she's been all fluffy and lovely. Lots of standing closer to Jane because obviously I am the big baddie!

Just put her to bed and a sleeping tablet fell out of her pillow. That would explain why she was awake at half five. I'd taken her tablets in later than usual and woken her up thinking that this would mean a slightly later start for the weekend - foiled! Not tonight though. Rosa Klebb has nothing on me.


Sunday Morning

I'm rather tearful this morning.

I went downstairs just before seven and could hear her talking. Made some tea and took it in to her. Or at least I tried to but I couldn't get the door open properly because she had taken the duvet off the bed and was once again lying on the floor. It was obvious that she really should've gone to the loo at some point so once I'd manage to get her off the floor (she's a dead weight and absolutely does not try to help) I got her straight into the shower - not before some got trampled into the carpet though. All her night clothes have had to go into the bin.

Showered, dressed and breakfasted she parked her self in the kitchen in the sunshine, chatting away to whoever is there and apparently listening to a radio. I got on with cleaning up and putting the bedding in to wash but I'll have to find a laundrette for the duvet unfortunately.

Its now 11:50 and I've just herded her out of the bathroom and re-dressed her for the third time. This looks to be the theme for today.


The rest of the day has been fairly trying but nothing like as bad as this morning.

She's back to refusing food again, convinced she's only just eaten something. It's difficult to know how to tackle this one other than to offer tiny portions of things 'to taste' which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. However she's just appeared with an empty box of Celebrations so that might explain things - no idea where it has come from though! Perhaps from the same place she's hidden her shoe.

The theme this afternoon has been the need to put a coat on. I think she's worn seven or eight different coats each time getting in a tangle puttin git on but refusing any help then finally sitting down for a while before taking it off and putting it away. Then doing it all over again with a different coat.


Things I've said too may times to count today:

You've already had a shower, please put your clothes back on

It's the TV, it isn't real.

Peter isn't here/isnt going to be here/hasn't been here

There's nobody here, only us.

Did you flush the loo?

Are you talking to me?

Not a very long list but when you say most of them roughly every five minutes (and that's being a little generous I think) then there isn't room to talk about very much else.

I think I'm ready for some time off.


  1. Oh, dear. Patience is a virtue though, Bee. Sigh. Hoping you have a reasonably peaceful weekend! :) xx

  2. Aw, bless both you and your Mum, Bee. *big hugs*

  3. Sending big hugs sweetheart

    Margaret xx

  4. All I can do is send you hugs and best wishes. Wish I could send you some energy too. X