Oh hello, it's Ocupational Therapy here. Just to let you know your mum will be coming home tomorrow.
Oh right. How easy will it be to cope with her?
She's fine. She's had a wash this morning and is using her frame. We'll send her home by ambulance. Bye.
I sincerely hope she doesn't need lifting. Or I'll be in A&E having my wrist/elbow/shoulder dislocations reduced.
Every cloud though. At least she'll stop asking when. But not today because they've already told her she's going home. I expect she's got her coat on by now.